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Maturity
has nothing to do with your life experiences.
It has something to do with your inward journey, experiences of the inner.
The more he goes deeper into himself, the more mature he is. When he has
reached the very center of his being, he is perfectly mature. But at that
moment the person disappears, only presence remains...
The self disappears, only silence remains.
Knowledge disappears, only innocence remains.
To me, maturity is another name for realization: you have come to the
fulfillment of your potential, it has become actual. The seed has come on a
long journey, and has blossomed.
Maturity has a fragrance. It gives a tremendous beauty to the individual.
It gives intelligence, the sharpest possible intelligence. It makes him
nothing but love. His action is love, his inaction is love; his life is love,
his death is love. He is just a flower of love.
The West has definitions of maturity which are very childish. The West
means by maturity that you are no longer innocent, that you have ripened
through life experiences, that you cannot be cheated easily, that you cannot
be exploited, that you have within you something like a solid rock -- a
protection, a security.
This definition is very ordinary, very worldly. Yes, in the world you will
find mature people of this type. But the way I see maturity is totally
different, diametrically opposite to this definition. The maturity will not
make you a rock; it will make you so vulnerable, so soft, so simple.
I remember... a thief entered a master's hut. It was a full-moon night, and
by mistake he had entered; otherwise, what can you find in a master's house?
The thief was looking, and was amazed that there was nothing. And then
suddenly he saw a man who was coming with a candle in his hand.
The man said, "What are you looking for in the dark? Why did you not
wake me up? I was just sleeping near the front door, and I could have showed
you the whole house." And the man looked so simple and so innocent, as if
he could not conceive that anybody could be a thief.
Before his simplicity and innocence, the thief said, "Perhaps you do
not know that I am a thief."
The master said, "That doesn't matter, one has to be someone. The
point is that I have been in the house for thirty years and I have not found
anything, so let us search together! And if we can find something, we can be
partners. I have not found anything in this house -- it is just empty."
The thief was a little afraid -- the man seems to be strange. Either he is
mad or... who knows what kind of man he is? He wanted to escape, because he
had brought things from two other houses that he had left outside the house.
The master had only one blanket -- that was all that he had -- and it was a
cold night, so he told that thief, "Don't go this way, don't insult me
this way; otherwise I will never be able to forgive myself, that a poor man
came to my house in the middle of the night and had to go empty-handed. Just
take this blanket. And it will be good -- outside it is so cold. I am inside
the house; it is warmer here."
He covered the thief with his blanket. The thief was just losing his mind!
He said, "What are you doing? I am a thief!"
The master said, "That does not matter. In this world everybody has to
be somebody, has to do something. You may be stealing; that doesn't matter, a
profession is a profession. Just do it well, with all my blessings. Do it
perfectly, don't be caught; otherwise you will be in trouble."
The thief said, "You are strange. You are naked and you don't have
anything!"
The master said, "Don't be worried, because I am coming with you! Only
the blanket was keeping me in this house; otherwise in this house there is
nothing -- and the blanket I have given to you. I am coming with you -- we
will live together. And you seem to have many things; it is a good
partnership. I have given my all to you. You can give me a little bit -- that
will be right."
The thief could not believe it. He just wanted to escape from that place
and from that man. He said, "No, I cannot take you with me. I have my
wife, I have my children, and my neighbors, what will they say? -- `You have
brought a naked man!"
He said, "That's right. I will not put you in any embarrassing
situation. So you can go, I will remain in this house." And as the thief
was going, the master shouted, "Hey! Come back!" The thief had never
heard such a strong voice; it went just like a knife. He had to come back. The
master said, "Learn some ways of courtesy. I have given you the blanket
and you have not even thanked me. So first, thank me -- it will help you a
long way. Secondly, going out -- you opened the door when you came in -- close
the door! Can't you see the night is so cold, and can't you see that I have
given you the blanket and I am naked? Your being a thief is okay, but as far
as manners are concerned, I am a difficult man. I cannot tolerate this kind of
behavior. Say thank you!"
The thief had to say, "Thank you, sir," and he closed the door
and escaped. He could not believe what had happened! He could not sleep the
whole night. Again and again he remembered... he had never heard such a strong
voice, such power. And the man had nothing!
He enquired the next day and he found out that this was a great master. He
had not done well -- it was absolutely ugly to go to that poor man; he had
nothing. But he was a great master.
The thief said, "That I can understand myself -- that he is a very
strange kind of man. In my whole life I have been coming in contact with
different kinds of people, from the poorest to the richest, but never... even
remembering him, a shivering goes through my body.
"When he called me back I could not run away. I was absolutely free, I
could have taken the things and run away, but I could not. There was something
in his voice that pulled me back."
After a few months the thief was caught, and in the court the magistrate
asked him, "Can you name a person who knows you in this vicinity?"
He said, "Yes, one person knows me" -- and he named the master.
The magistrate said, "That's enough -- call the master. His testimony
is worth that of ten thousand people. What he says about you will be enough to
give judgment."
The magistrate asked the master, "Do you know this man?"
He said, "Know him? We are partners. He is my friend. He even visited
me one night in the middle of the night. It was so cold that I gave him my
blanket. He is using it, you can see. That blanket is famous all over the
country; everybody knows it is mine."
The magistrate said, "He is your friend? And does he steal?"
The master said, "Never! He can never steal. He is such a gentleman
that when I gave him the blanket he said to me, `Thank you, sir.' When he went
out of the house, he silently closed the doors. He is a very polite, nice
fellow."
The magistrate said, "If you say so, then all the testimonies of the
witnesses who have said that he is a thief are cancelled. He is freed."
The master went out and the thief followed him.
The master said, "What are you doing? Why are you coming with
me?"
He said, "Now I can never leave you. You have called me your friend,
you have called me your partner. Nobody has ever given me any respect. You are
the first person who has said that I am a gentleman, a nice person. I am going
to sit at your feet and learn how to be like you. From where have you got this
maturity, this power, this strength, this seeing of things in a totally
different way?"
The master said, "Do you know that night how bad I felt? You had gone;
it was so cold. Without a blanket sleep was not possible. I was just sitting
by the window seeing the full moon, and I wrote a poem: `If I was rich enough
I would have given this perfect moon to that poor fellow, who had come in the
dark to search for something in a poor man's house. I would have given the
moon if I had been rich enough, but I am poor myself.' I will show you the
poem, come with me.
"I wept that night, that thieves should learn a few things. At least
they should inform a day or two ahead when they come to a man like me, so we
can arrange something, so they don't have to go empty-handed.
"And it is good that you remembered me in the court; otherwise those
fellows are dangerous, they may have mistreated you. I offered that very night
to come with you and be partners with you, but you refused. Now you want...
There is no problem, you can come. Whatever I have I will share with you. But
it is not material: it is something invisible."
The thief said, "That I can feel -- it is something invisible. But you
have saved my life, and now it is yours. Make whatever you want to make of it.
I have been simply wasting it. Seeing you, looking in your eyes, one thing is
certain -- that you can transform me. I have fallen in love from that very
night."
Maturity to me is a spiritual phenomenon.
Aging is nothing that you do, aging is something that
happens physically. Every child born, when time passes, becomes old. Maturity
is something that you bring to your life -- it comes out of awareness. When a
person ages with full awareness he becomes mature. Aging plus awareness,
experiencing plus awareness, is maturity.
A mature person has the integrity to be alone.
And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to
it: he simply gives. And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful
that you have accepted his love, not vice versa. He does not expect you to be
thankful for it -- no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He
thanks you for accepting his love. And when two mature persons are in love,
one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful
phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so
much so that they are almost one. But their oneness does not destroy their
individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual. Two
mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no
politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate
the person you love?
Just think over it. Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. How can
you think of dominating a person you love? You would love to see the person
totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality. That's why I
call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are
almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their
individualities are not effaced -- they have become more enhanced. The other
has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.
Immature people falling in love destroy each other's freedom, create a
bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free;
they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows
with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is
ugliness.
Remember, freedom is a higher value than love. That's why in India, the
ultimate we call MOKSHA; MOKSHA means freedom. Freedom is a higher value than
love. So if love is destroying freedom, it is not of worth. Love can be
dropped; freedom has to be saved: freedom is a higher value. And without
freedom you can never be happy -- that is not possible. Freedom is the
intrinsic desire of each man, each woman -- utter freedom, absolute freedom.
So anything that becomes destructive to freedom -- one starts hating it.
Don't you hate the man you love? Don't you hate the woman you love? You
hate. It is a necessary evil; you have to tolerate it. Because you cannot be
alone you have to manage to be with somebody, and you have to adjust to the
other's demands. You have to tolerate, you have to bear them.
Love, to be really love, has to be 'being-love', 'gift-love'. 'Being-love'
means a state of love. When you have arrived home, when you have known who you
are, then a love arises in your being. Then the fragrance spreads and you can
give it to others. How can you give something which you don't have? To give
it, the first basic requirement is to have it.
from
Maturity: The Responsibility of Being
Oneself
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